Add To Cart

Section 8
Jack, Client’s Notes

Question 8 | Test | Table of Contents | Printable Page

September 30th
• When you use anger correctly, you get positive results.

• Anger has two benefits: it provides a warning and the necessary energy for change.

• All feelings are based upon the thoughts we have.
• Anger is a natural feeling.

• Anger can enslave us, or it can provide freedom, all depending upon how it is used.

• No one can make you angry! No one can make you mad! You get to choose.

• There is freedom knowing that anger is a choice.

October 7th
• If someone else is angry, you have a choice to be angry or not—this is freedom!

• Your feelings do not lie to you, however they may be based upon:

False thought
True thought
Incomplete information

• If a person changes their thinking, it can have a great effect on their reactions.

• When confronted with strong emotions, especially anger, repeating to yourself "I over E" (Intellect over Emotions) is an excellent way to maintaining your cool.

• We are as sick as our secrets.

October 15th
• "My Life Will Change . . . When I Change"™

• Locus of Control is where people place their personal power:
External—blaming others—victim mentality
Internal—being responsible—responsible for changing self

• In the end, no one can make anyone happy. A person’s happiness is their responsibility not yours.

• Listing someone else’s faults is taking someone else’s inventory, and usually starts conflict.

• Expectations are resentments under construction.

• Rather than pointing fingers, focus on our thumbs:

Finger Work = creates resentments

Thumb work = makes changes in ourselves

October 21st
There are five basic words in the feeling language:

Mad, Sad, Glad, Hurt, Fear

• Emotionally numb people are:

Heading in the wrong direction
Not real / not alive
Unhappy

• All decisions involve emotions, ignoring emotions decreases the quality of the result.

• When we acknowledge our feelings, we can use them like internal radar set to guide us.

• When we are not connected with our emotions, we are not connected to ourselves.

• A command phrase is an internal message of what we tell ourselves, and is embedded into our belief system when associated with strong emotions. Unless these phrases are challenged, they become our truth, what we believe.

• Self-forgiveness is a choice.

• Strong feelings associated with an event can keep memories alive forever.

• RUI—Reacting Under the Influence—this happens when we are emotionally drunk and automatically react to something or someone.

November 7th
• From our behavior, we obtain certain results, and these results reinforce our beliefs.

• What we think is based upon on how we see life, our beliefs.

• Not forgiving yourself is a form of being emotionally drunk.

November 12th
• Deep breathing creates a calming effect to help manage strong emotions such as anger or anxiety.

• To de-escalate a potential conflict, one method is to take a step backwards.

• A great tool from the book, Crucial Conversations is: "You can get furious or curious". You can get mad, or choose to wonder why this person is behaving the way they are.

• It is only when you start to choose . . . do you have a choice.

• In the book: Dance of Anger there are three recognizable patterns to a conflict:
Continue old dance steps
Develop new dance steps
Stop dancing.

• If you don’t speak it out, you’ll then act it out.
Example: lifting commode seat to express anger.

• A good question to gain perspective in life is:
How important is it?

• Emotionally drunk people stuck in absolutism decreases communication and understanding and creates polarization. . . a recipe for disaster

• What is the largest addiction in the world?
Looking good and being right!

• Life is all about choices.

"Would you rather be right . . . .
or would you rather be happy?"

QUESTION 8
It creates a calming effect to help manage strong emotions such as anger or anxiety?
To select and enter your answer go to Test.

Test for this course
Forward to Section 9
Back to Section 7
Table of Contents
Top